How to cruise for gay men
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men by Robert WeissRobert Weiss, director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Santa Monica, California, avoids political and moral arguments and instead focuses on the clinical approach, asking the question, “Is your sexual behavior causing problems in other areas of your life?” Cruise Control leads men to a better understanding of the difference between sexual compulsion and non-addictive sexual behavior within the gay experience, and it explains what resources are available for recovery. A timely and important contribution to the body of recovery literature, Cruise Control provides understanding, empathy and encouragement to gay men seeking healthy sexual expression.
24 Public Places Where Gay Men Cruised
Cruising was something that we did in person before technology took over our lives. Is that pathetic? Here are five fantastic ways to cruise guys in and beyond. Take these steps in a serious or funny way, but they are more than likely going to work. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy.
Admittedly, I had no clue what he was talking about. Growing up in Mississippi, my gay education came a bit late in my adolescence. And instead of wiser elders to teach me the finer points of queer culture like Stonewall and Gregg Araki films, my wisdom was imparted by gay men who also spent most of their lives in the closets of Mississippi. At only 19, cruising was as lost an art form as cursive writing or VHS tapes. But in the formerly thriving Manhattan gayborhood of Chelsea, it remains a treasured pastime for the remaining queer residents. Luckily, my wise host during my couch-surfing summer internship was well equipped with a plethora of knowledge.
The appeals of cruising for sex are easy to see: anonymous hookups whenever you feel like it, the thrill of not getting caught, the feel of the outdoors, and all without even having to actually be gay or bi. A lot of the time, especially in public toilets, guys will just be jerking off with other guys watching them. People go cruising for anything from voyeurism watching to orgies group sex , and knowing what sort of interactions you are seeking for yourself is very helpful. Look out for non-verbal communication like foot tapping, eye contact and gestures, and expect that people may be quite direct. While this may mean unexpected delights, it might also mean unexpected turnoffs.
This is a fair definition, but some guys would define cruising more loosely: a basic sex hunt, not something you specifically set out to do but rather something you are always doing. We do it on the subway and in the office and anywhere a handsome gentleman might lift his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead. In our minds, we lift his shirt the rest of the way and tug on the brim of his trousers with our teeth. If you make eye contact with him and discover wordlessly and without complete certainty that you are both interested, then voila! Now all you have to do is work up the courage to talk to him, give him your number, or nod to the exit.