Chelsea handler quotes about love
Chelsea Handler Quotes (Author of Are You There, Vodka? Its Me, Chelsea)
20 Chelsea Handler Quotes
Chelsea Handler Quotes. A collection of funny chelsea handler quotes about love and life. Chelsea Handler is the undisputed queen of late night comedy. Here is a collection of her funniest quotes about love,life,enjoy! If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you're stupid. I don't understand people who don't drink. I don't want to talk to them.
Hello friends. Life Will Be the Death of Me has been described as a funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler's year of self-discovery - featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members living and departed , friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles. Anytime there's weather in Los Angeles, even rain, it's exciting - the constant sunshine can start to grate on your nerves. This is fucking awesome. This is exactly what I'd hoped adulthood would be.
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I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. Dog costumes are right up there with something else I find particularly offensive: sweater vests. Oil and hummus. I've got plans. I'd rather take a bubble bath with my father. I don't need money.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer. Are you there vodka?
Chelsea Handler is my spirit animal. She's smart, hilarious and one hell of a feminist. Ever since her talk show Chelsea Lately premiered, her often controversial jokes and free-spirit attitude has helped her bash double-standards and reinvent traditional comedy. Chelsea's books have brought me to tears from laughter and her new Netflix show, Chelsea Does , is almost as informative as it is hilarious. When she isn't working, she's probably naked somewhere petting her ridiculously cute dogs.